One of the Worst Break Ups?!?!

TODAY - Driving on my way home from work while listening to the radio to keep myself company, I was randomly changing the radio frequency until I find something that will interest me. I was actually thinking of a good music to listen to that will keep me singing until I reach home yet unexpectedly I preferred to listen into a conversation between the 3 radio commentators and their listener. I guess I was already fed up by listening to music the whole night at work. Their topic was intriguing and maybe a little interesting for me. ('coz if its not then I wont be bothered to listen to it ;p)

The topic on the radio was a girl who broke up with her boyfriend just because she thought she found her ideal man with someone she met at work. Then, 6 months later she realized that she made a mistake and wants make up with her (now) ex-boyfriend by joining one of the radio programs and ask help to get in touch with her ex.

And so the radio station contacted the ex-boyfriend and ask him what he feels about his ex-girlfriend. As expected, the ex-boyfriend was full of bitterness towards the girl. And another side of the story behind the break-up was also revealed. Aside from the fact that the girl was the one who initiated the break-up with wrong reasons, the girl broke up with the boy by texting him that they're over. Upon hearing this, the radio commmentators were shocked and so am I. First, I was thinking that girl is such a flirt (okay, might be a little rude in there but hey thats my first impression towards the girl) and a coward for not personally facing the boy to end up their relationship (and then it totally hit me BIG TIME! ouch!) And so the radio commentators were dissapointed upon hearing the text break-up. Not only was the girl foolish enough to break up with him because of another guy but also in wanting him back since her "assumed" relationship with the other one didn't work out as what she was hoping for.

Ironic isn't it?! Anyway, my curiosity (and foolishness) about text break up got into me and I know that I need to look it up in the net somewhere to satisfy my foolish mind. So here's an interesting article that I found discussing text break ups.

Source: http://www.relationshippsychology.com/breakups/break-up-sms%20

Break Up Sms – Good idea or bad?
Are you thinking of sending a break up sms to dump someone? It seems like a very easy way to leave someone, doesn’t it? But is it appropriate?

Relationships in general have evolved through the generations. People now use technology in dating and it has affected relationships in many different ways. Many use their mobile phones during courtship and even when breaking up.

Break up sms – The dumper vs. the dumpee
People feel differently about breaking up through text message.

From the dumpee’s perspective

Imagine yourself receiving a text message from your partner telling you that he/she wants to break up with you. How does it feel? Isn’t it outright humiliating? A dumpee who gets dumped via sms will definitely get hurt and feel like he/she was betrayed and disrespected.

More so, the person is left with a lot of unanswered questions resulting in a feeling of resentment toward his/her partner. The situation will be left hanging and the relationship will have no closure.

Despite the pain, a break up sms could be advantageous for a dumpee in the sense that the person will realize that what he/she thought was real was actually fake. There was no real relationship at all because of the fact that his/her partner does not even have the decency and courage to tell him/her personally about the break up.

For some dumpees, it is more difficult to move on from the break up because they have no idea what the heck went wrong in the relationship and they tend to dwell on the bad experience and lose their self-esteem. On the other hand, some people find receiving a break sms as an eye-opener and are even thankful to have found out that they were dating a loser. They’re just glad that things are over.

From the dumper’s point of view

A break up sms is quick to do. All you have to do is type a text message, send it and you’re done. But then, there’s no easy way to break someone’s heart. Whether you do it personally or through text, both will hurt the person you’re breaking up with. However, if you break up via sms, you save yourself from having to see the person’s reaction and you won’t feel any guilt or hesitation about dumping him/her.

It’s rude to send a break up sms to someone you’ve dated for quite a long time, unless the relationship also started through sms. It can be considered appropriate if your partner is very controlling and abusive and would try to make you change your decision if you broke up with him/her personally. Likewise, you can also make use of this option if the person you’re splitting up with doesn’t value you.

Final thought on using a break up sms
Considering what people think about it, can we really say that breaking up through sms is okay? Well, I guess that depends on the situation. If you feel the need to avoid any confrontation, violent reaction or emotional outburst, then go ahead and do it.

However, if you believe that somehow the relationship made you feel happy and special, have the courage and the decency to tell your partner personally that you want to end the relationship. After all, you loved and cared for that person once, so show him/her that you value the times you’ve spent together and at least give him/her the respect he/she deserves.

Reading it was like trying to consider whether text break ups are really worth it depending on the situation. But then again, there could be hundreds of scenarios and factors involved when it comes to break ups. Another thing to consider was what the other party will feel. Whether your on the side of the dumpee or the dumper, it will always be hard to move on specially if there were no closure after the break-up. Its either both/one of them move on or neither.

Bottom line is ending up a relationship are always gonna be hard and most of the time painful.



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